Author: Melody Cratic

An important part of life skills is the development of assertiveness. Without it, you could feel disrespected or disregarded in relationships and career paths. Assertiveness is all about feeling confident in your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs that you can ask or demand what you want in a calm and effective manner.

Assertiveness is also about refusing to accept what you don’t want. For example, if someone cuts in front of you at the supermarket, do you call them on it or just keep quiet? If you don’t speak up, you probably leave the store feeling angry and frustrated.

If you’re an aggressive personality, you may react to the same situation by becoming overly angry and shouting at the person who cut in line. That type of behavior is unacceptable and can cause serious conflict.

You may have problems being assertive with those in authority – for example, parents, bosses or others who you feel are “above” you. You may not have the confidence to speak up around these people for fear that you’ll lose your job or be looked at as confrontational.

Ask Yourself These 8 Questions to Gauge How Assertive You Are:

• Do you speak up when you disagree with someone?
• Do you do what’s right even though it goes against what others are doing?
• Would you remind a person about the money they borrowed and need to pay back?
• Can you ask for help if needed?
• Can you tell people when you’re disappointed in them?
• Do you tell someone if they’ve hurt your feelings?
• If someone is consistently late, do you tell him how it makes you feel?
• Can you refuse if someone asks you to do something wrong?

Think about people whom you really admire? Chances are they display the honorable quality of being assertive when needed. There’s a fine line between aggressiveness and assertiveness, but the consequences may be far-reaching.

Common sense can lead you away from being too aggressive so that feelings are hurt and relationships are lost. As you practice assertiveness in your daily life, you’ll become more adept at knowing when and where the line is crossed and being able to avoid it.

Learn all you can about assertiveness and apply the lessons where needed in your life. The self-esteem that comes from standing up for yourself and demanding that your rights be respected can transform your life and lead you to success.

Book a consultation with us now! Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions. We would love to hear from you. Email at [email protected].

Click here https://xcelmil.com/xcelmil-coaching-and-consulting-services/  to learn more about our services.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/GraticMelody

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melodygraticconsulting/

XcelMil, LLC is a certified Minority-Woman and Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business specializing in Executive Management Consulting and Leadership Development Training.

Does your house seem smaller since the pandemic started? Many families feel more cramped with 2 adults working at home, especially if you need to share your workspace with your spouse.

This may be the first time you’ve seen their work habits up close or counted how many dirty coffee cups they leave behind in their wake. Even if you’re used to having an office mate, it’s a different experience when you don’t say goodbye and go your separate ways at quitting time.

Protect your relationship and your productivity by mastering the modern rules for couples who share a home office. Try these tips for setting up your workspace and interacting with each other.

Setting Up a Home Office for Two:

1. Divide your space. Each of you will probably need your own desk or workstation. It will help you to stay out of each other’s way and reduce distractions. There will be less risk of accidentally carrying off each other’s files or losing items too.
2. Separate your stuff. Figure out which supplies and equipment you can share and which you’ll need for yourself alone. You can probably save money by having one printer and shredder. On the other hand, you may need your own phone line and storage space.
3. Enable privacy. How will you handle tasks that require quiet and concentration? Maybe you can write or attend Webex/Zoom meetings in your sunroom or kitchen. Maybe you’ll be more comfortable with your desks facing away from each other.
4. Create ambience. Design your office for maximum comfort and cheer. Give it a fresh coat of paint and display some artwork and photos.
5. Minimize clutter. At the same time, open space and tidy surfaces are more relaxing, so be selective about your furnishings. Cleaning up after yourself helps too.
6. Stagger your schedules. If possible, you might work different hours. That way you can count on a private office for at least part of the day.

Etiquette for Sharing Your Home Office:

1. Establish boundaries. Planning ahead will avoid many conflicts, but you’ll still need ground rules. Share the vacuuming and agree on where to set the thermostat.
2. Talk things over. Resolve minor annoyances promptly to keep them from escalating. Be open to compromises and keep your sense of humor.
3. Wear headphones. Volume levels are one of the most common challenges in any shared space. Noise-canceling headphones may help you keep the peace if you prefer different styles of music. You may also need headsets if you make a lot of phone calls.
   Eliminate odors. Unpleasant smells can be as intrusive as noise. You may need to step outside if you’re snacking on pizza with extra garlic. Use neutral cleaning products or check to see that you both like pomegranate scented air freshener.
4. Stay focused. Maintain balance by using your home office for work and dealing with personal matters elsewhere. Save personal conversations for after hours.
5. Take breaks together. While sharing an office with your spouse takes some effort, it can also be a lot of fun. Drink your morning coffee on your patio. Take your dog to the park at lunchtime for a long walk or outdoor concert.
   Be considerate. Overall, treat your spouse with respect and courtesy. It’s easy to drift into taking each other for granted, so remember what you like about them. Show your appreciation and look for ways to make their life easier.

There are many advantages to working from home, and the trend will continue long after the lockdowns and quarantines end. Learning to share office space will help you and your spouse enjoy your relationship and your remote work experience.

Book a consultation with us now! Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions. We would love to hear from you. Email at [email protected].

Click here https://xcelmil.com/xcelmil-coaching-and-consulting-services/  to learn more about our services.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/GraticMelody

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melodygraticconsulting/

XcelMil, LLC is a certified Minority-Woman and Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business specializing in Executive Management Consulting and Leadership Development Training.

Today, it’s challenging to have a great social life. This was true even before Covid-19 became an issue.

In the not-so-distant past, it used to be so boring to stay at home during the evenings and the weekends that people always looked for an excuse to get out of the house. But now, between streaming services, the internet, smartphones, and video games, it’s much easier to find an excuse to stay home.

Covid-19 has only made the situation even more challenging. Now, there is a legitimate reason to avoid others.

While a few select people seem to thrive with very little human contact, most people need to spend time with others to stay emotionally healthy and happy.

Luckily, there are still things you can do to help maintain your emotional health, even when your time with others is reduced.

Learn how to ease the discomfort of social isolation with these tips:

1. Be productive. Just because you might be spending a lot of time alone doesn’t mean you just have to sit there and be miserable. Everyone feels better when they’re being productive. Some productive activities include:

• Paint the living room.
• Volunteer to help others.
• Take a class online.
• Rearrange the pantry.
• Take the car in to have the tires rotated.
• Take the dog for a walk.
• And many more

2. Connect with others in a safe manner. Use your imagination and find a way to connect with people while making your health a priority.

• Use skype, zoom, and other options for talking “face-to-face.”
• Chat online via forums.
• Sit outside by a fire in the fresh air and have a conversation with a friend.

3. View beautiful things. What makes something beautiful? It makes you feel a certain way when you look at it. With your smartphone or computer, you can view just about anything in the world. Spend some time looking at beautiful things each day and you’ll feel great.

• Look at old photographs.
• Go to a museum.
• Find the most perfect tree in the park and really look at it.

4. Take up a solo hobby. There are plenty of hobbies you can do by yourself. Paint, play chess online, hike, knit, write, or train your dog. A hobby is something you choose to do because it brings you pleasure.
5. Get a pet. If you don’t have a pet, consider getting one. You can have a more meaningful relationship with the right pet than you can have with 99% of the people in the world. What type of animal interests you?
6. Maintain a high level of self-care. Loneliness and social isolation often lead to poor self-care. It’s important to continue taking good care of yourself even if you’re spending a lot of time alone. For example, a shower isn’t something that you do just for others. It’s also something that you do for yourself.

• Paint your nails
• Get a new hairstyle

7. Be creative. Most people find they are more creative when they have time to themselves. Now is an ideal time to take advantage of your solitude. Let your creative juices flow!

• What ideas do you have?
• What do you want to create?
• What do you want to experiment with?

Having a lot of free time alone doesn’t have to be a bad thing. There is a lot you can do to ease the discomfort of loneliness and social isolation. Technology makes it relatively easy to connect with others even if physical proximity is impossible. Feeling productive can also ease the pain of being alone.

Instead of focusing on this great challenge, try to take advantage of its unique possibilities. You can learn more about yourself and try out a few hobbies. You’re free to explore your interests without interference from others.

Just think – by developing other interests, when the time comes when you can reconnect socially, you’ll have a variety of new things to talk about.

Book a consultation with us now! Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions. We would love to hear from you. Email at [email protected].

Click here https://xcelmil.com/xcelmil-coaching-and-consulting-services/  to learn more about our services.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/GraticMelody

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melodygraticconsulting/

XcelMil, LLC is a certified Minority-Woman and Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business specializing in Executive Management Consulting and Leadership Development Training.

Defining self-care is easy because it’s the opposite of self-sabotage or self-control. To successfully achieve self-care, you must have a self-care plan. It’s through that structured plan that you’re going to be able to properly care for your very being.

Self-care isn’t just about brushing your teeth or combing your hair. Self-care is for the needs within you

Self-care is caring for your soul, your inner self, and your very being.

Building a Solid Self-Care Plan

A good self-care plan reminds you of what you want to accomplish. After all, you have values, goals, and a life purpose. This plan reminds you about what you need to do to take care of yourself. Using a day planner or making notes to yourself can remind you of your goals and the things you need to do to take care of your body, mind, and soul.

• Your self-care plan gives you a solid foundation for what you want to do and how you can accomplish it.

You should also provide yourself with inspirational quotes and affirmations. This is the spiritual food that keeps you focused on your own personal well-being. Not only will you have a constant reminder of what to do, but you also have little pieces of inspiration around you to remind you of why you’re doing it!

In addition to inspirational quotes, you can hang motivational pictures throughout your home and office. These pictures may be of exotic places you’d like to visit someday or tranquil images of nature.

Your photos may be something that you want to attract into your life or may remind you of a positive memory from your past. You can also have a photo of your family to remind you of what’s important to you.

• Your self-care plan should inspire you and remind you of why you want to take care of your body, mind, and spirit.

Another aspect of your self-care plan includes tracking and measuring your progress. Let’s say you have a hard time getting motivated to exercise. By keeping a log of your exercise time, you can keep yourself focused on becoming a healthier you.

A food journal is also a good way to track your food choices so you can remind yourself that you need to eat nutritious foods. In addition, you can use a journal to record your mental and emotional health. Write down what’s going on inside of you so you can evaluate your feelings and proactively take care of your mental health.

• Your self-care plan tracks your progress to help you stay on track toward your goals.

You can apply these useful tips for anything you want to accomplish. It begins and culminates with a solid foundation and that is, a need to take of care of yourself. To put succinctly, take care of the inside as well as the outside.

Creating a Personalized Self-Care Plan (PSP)

You may need to motivate yourself to initiate your self-care plan. For some, beginning a new task may be daunting. In addition, you’ll want to be sure you can find motivation along the way to help keep you on track.

Ask yourself this question: “ What has motivated you in the past?” Use this as a basis for your motivation to write out a realistic personalized self-care plan.

A good motivator to keep you on track is to have a family member, friend or spouse hold you accountable. If you slip up or slack off in your efforts to proactively take care of yourself, they will let you know so you can renew your focus and get back on course.

It’s important to add discipline and structure for successful self-care. As the saying goes, “You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.” A good self-care plan will provide you with the vigor, attitude, and energy to enjoy life to its fullest!

Book a consultation with us now! Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions. We would love to hear from you. Email at [email protected].

Click here https://xcelmil.com/xcelmil-coaching-and-consulting-services/  to learn more about our services.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/GraticMelody

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melodygraticconsulting/

XcelMil, LLC is a certified Minority-Woman and Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business specializing in Executive Management Consulting and Leadership Development Training.

Coaching, in its modern format, has been around since the late 1990s. People still think of it as something new, but in reality, Coaching has been around for millennia.  There has never been a period in mankind’s history where Coaches did not exist.

Sure, it might have looked a little different, but Coaching is as old as the hills. Modern-day Coaching may be more refined and a lot more commercially viable, but the principles remain the same.

What Does a Coach Do?

Coaches have the skills and knowledge to advise, support, and encourage their clients.

 

They help them to:

• Make sound decisions
• Take effective actions
• Resolve their challenges in the most efficient way possible
• Learn from the process, so they can repeat it whenever they want

A coach also has the ability to remain detached from the issues at hand.

Consider the wise words of Albert Einstein:

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”

Time Is Money

In the modern era, in life and business, time is money. There’s an ever-increasing amount of cooperation and collaboration going on both in businesses and in peoples’ private lives. We need to figure things out almost on the fly these days while dealing with different time zones and cultures.

Everyone has their own unique issues to handle alongside everything else that needs to be accommodated, and then there’s the technology we all use to connect with everybody and everything.

Life is definitely more complex today and it certainly seems to be speeding up every time you turn around. It doesn’t take long before we begin to have thoughts of overwhelm and burnout on our minds.

The question we need to ask ourselves is this: “How long can I justify spending time and money on this issue trying to figure it out for myself, knowing what Albert Einstein said about problem-solving?”

If having a Coach could save you time and money, it would be ridiculous NOT to hire one, wouldn’t it?

Throughout history, every King has had an Advisor (Coach) in every culture. Every military leader has had a Strategist (Coach), every World Class Athlete has had a trainer (Coach), and every Entertainer has had a Manager (Coach).

Who Hires a Coach?

The only conclusion we can draw from the history of Coaching is that the people who hire a Coach fall into two camps:

• People who are at the top of their game and want to stay there, or
• People who aspire to be at the top of their game and want to get there as fast as they can

Many people will say that they want to change themselves, their life, their job, or their circumstances, but in real terms, they are fearful of change. They delay, procrastinate, and make excuses. They lack self-confidence and the drive to follow through. It’s human nature. It’s what ordinary people always do.

People who hire a Coach are not ordinary people.

They are inspired and have vision. They embrace change and are prepared to get fully engaged in making positive changes in their life. Plus, they don’t want it to take forever!

They have a sense of urgency, and they want someone they can lean on, confide in, use as a sounding board, and rely on to help them make the inevitable tough decisions that they can see on the horizon.

People hiring their first Coach are often racked with pessimism. They think, “What if I waste my money?”

Consider that, before you hire a coach, you’re already wasting time, which is the same as money, and you lack the resources to resolve the issues at hand. It would cost you less to hire a Coach and find out first-hand and NOW how unbelievably useful a Coach can be.

People who are hiring their second or subsequent Coach have no pessimism. What they are looking for is the perfect fit for them and the circumstances they find themselves in.

Within reason, money is not the issue and they never think about the possibility of wasting it. Their main concern is finding the RIGHT Coach and then hoping that the Coach they choose has a spot left open where they can be accommodated, and can they start today?

Is Hiring a Coach Right For You?

Maybe. Maybe not.

• Are you at a point where NOT taking action is costing you time and money?
• Do you feel stuck in your struggles?
• Could you use encouragement and sage advice in moving forward?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, perhaps a coach can get you moving in the right direction to help you create the life you desire – and sooner rather than later.

Book a consultation with us now! Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions. We would love to hear from you. Email at [email protected].

Click here https://xcelmil.com/xcelmil-coaching-and-consulting-services/  to learn more about our services.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/GraticMelody

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melodygraticconsulting/

XcelMil, LLC is a certified Minority-Woman and Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business specializing in Executive Management Consulting and Leadership Development Training.

A workplace can be an enjoyable or an unbearable place. A pleasant workplace can make your employees less stressed, more creative, more engaged, and productive. Working in an unbearable and hostile environment can make it nearly impossible for employees to perform their tasks to the best of their ability.

The conditions of the workplace come down to the leadership. Many people want to be great leaders. However, the stress of leadership can lead some to behaviors inconsistent with their character. Some believe if they’re too nice, they will be taking advantage of, and their employee’s work will suffer. Therefore the company will suffer and not produce well. So many feel they don’t have a choice but to be very stern and harsh. Being this way can get out of hand. When that happens, leaders become a part of the problem. They become “toxic leaders.” A toxic leader is damaging to the health of those around them, emotionally and physically.

Here are 5 Ways to Avoid Becoming a Toxic Leader:

1.) Accept constructive criticism.

Allow employees to give feedback. Don’t take constructive criticism as being mean. Look at it as a positive. Constructive criticism can increase insight and perspective. It can make you, your work, and the work environment better. Constructive criticism can guide you away from harmful practices and towards good ones.

2.) Willing to Learn, Grow, or Adapt as a Leader.

It’s good to continually try to improve yourself to become a better person and leader. Life is more enjoyable for you and those around you.

Also, the marketplace and business climate are ever-changing. Learning and staying ahead is a huge part of growing.

Lead by example. When leaders are willing to learn new skills, they are creating a tone for the organization.

3.) Be Compassionate.

It’s good to understand that the demands on employees go beyond the organization. Be the type of leader who is kind, helpful, and caring. This does not mean that you should be a push-over. Employees who work for a supportive leader are more likely to be happier, less stressed, and have higher work output.

4.) Have fun.

Creating a fun workplace can be as simple as holding monthly potlucks, birthday celebrations, or door decorating contests. These types of small events are not only fun but also be great team-building exercises.

When leaders unwind and create a fun workplace, there is a remarkable increase in employee trust, creativity, communication, and higher morale. And there is a lower turnover.

5.) Know Your Employees.

Leaders understand how important it is to know their employees. It builds bonds that allow your organization to solve big problems, face significant challenges, and obtain extraordinary results from all types of people.

When showing interest in employee’s hobbies, family, and other parts outside of work, they feel valued.

Book a consultation with us now! Please do not hesitate to contact us with any questions. We would love to hear from you. Email at [email protected].

Click here https://xcelmil.com/xcelmil-coaching-and-consulting-services/  to learn more about our services.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/GraticMelody

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melodygraticconsulting/

XcelMil, LLC is a certified Minority-Woman and Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business specializing in Executive Management Consulting and Leadership Development Training.